A recent review on Amazon from a reader of Frankie's book had me thinking. So I must share my thoughts. In his review he wrote, "I bought the book more as a way to show my daughter she can overcome her special needs as Frankie did in the book. I was a little surprised at some of the bluntness of the book with relation to some of Frankie's "siblings" and what happens to them."
I assume he is referring to when our lab, Cassie, passes away from cancer. If you have not read the book this is the text to what I believe the reviewer is referring to:
"The summer flies by lickity-split. Before I know it, the leaves turn colors of popsicle orange, licorice red and yo-yo yellow. The earth changes around me and my dog sister, Cassie, gets sick with cancer. My mom, dad and I enjoy the time we have left with her. During the long, cold winter months, we snuggle close together. In spring, we bound outside to sniff the fresh new smells of the season. The flowers are in full bloom when Cassie dies. Mom and Dad cry. I sit in Mom's lap and cry too. We miss her so much!"
I was a bit struck that the reader felt this was blunt. We are all entitled to our opinion and I don't begrudge him for sharing his view point. It just got me thinking. When I wrote this part of the book it took me weeks to find a soft way of saying this, but at the same time wanting children to realize death is part of life. I think as a culture we are very paranoid about death and dying. I also want children to understand that they will lose animals and people in their lives. But I want them to know this is ok. This is part of what makes up life.
Doing volunteer hospice work has opened my eyes and my heart in so many beautiful ways, as well as volunteering at a senior assisted facility. Yes, there are many times death is not pretty, but often times it can also be a beautiful thing. I remember awhile ago talking with one of the volunteer coordinators at hospice. We were discussing how so many are uneducated in what hospice is, and how you can truly die with dignity and grace.
Often times people can't understand why I love volunteering for hospice, because "people are dying there." They forget that they are also still living... and making those last days, weeks, months as comfortable and enjoyable as possible is what hospice is all about. I find great joy in sharing my love of Frankie with them... seeing them smile... hearing them reminisce about pets they had. I am often struck how I see a hospice patient one day laughing, enjoying their day, and the next day they are gone. This is what I mean about dying in a beautiful way, which happens often, but we don't often see or hear about this, because I think our culture is so afraid of dying. I know the hospice facility I volunteer at is trying hard to educate others about the beauty of hospice.
Frankie's third book is brewing in my head and heart, which I hope will be about our hospice work. So while this statement from this reviewer took me by surprise, it also reinforced for me that we have a long way to go in understanding and accepting death, whether human or animal. I am not saying I am ready to die, because believe me, I am not. I have so much I want to do! But I also don't fear death as much anymore because of the things I have experienced and learned. I also hope my animals can be with me as long as possible, because I love them so. But I also want to accept when it is time for them to go, and open my heart to another animal.
So if some feel writing about cancer and death of an animal in a children's book is blunt I hope for them some peace and love in understanding this. I truly do.
